Saturday, June 19, 2021

Things Not To Feel Guilty About

Things Not To Feel Guilty About

 Guilt is a moral emotion that occurs when a person believes or realizes—accurately or not—that they have compromised their own standards of conduct or have violated universal moral standards and bear significant responsibility for that violation. In simple language GUILT is a feeling that creeps through our backbone when we have done something absolutely wrong or unnecessary and we later realize that it was not the right thing to do. Guilt is closely related to the idea of remorse, regret, as well as shame. On the other side guilt can also bring out the good in us and post realization we may have the option to make a conscious decision of making things right and in case that is not a possibility, the least we can do is acknowledge our mistakes, take a stand and apologize for the same. I would like to share a few things that we are often guilty of doing in this modernized world, but the reality is that these things work for the good of our lives and we must in no manner feel guilty about doing them.

Leaving A Job That Drains You: As per countless studies done around the globe over the last decades, it has been found that around 80% of the people doing their current jobs are unhappy with their jobs and are always on the lookout for their dream job. We are either working in such jobs for financial stability or due to responsibilities that we have in our lives. If 80% of the people are unhappy with their current jobs that can be a serious health hazard by itself. Hence, leaving such a job can never be a guiltful decision. Leaving a job that is affecting us physically and more importantly mentally is the best decision that we can make for your health and for a better life in future.

Declining A Phone Call: People spend an average of 3 hours per day on phone calls around the world. It may be even more based on the nature of our job and the connections we make on a daily basis. Each of these connections needs energy that is being drained out of our body every time we make that connection and spend time on it. Some of these connections can come with a positive idea while a few can be toxic as well. We often fall into the guilt trap and try to give our time to everyone that comes our way. However, if it is taking the time and energy out of our body every time we attend a call or make that connection, we definitely have the right to take a stand and make wise decisions on which connections to make and which ones are better avoided for a later day.

Doing What Is Best For You: There is a saying “If you do not do what you cannot do, it is all right. But if you do not do what you can do, your life is a tragedy” #Sadhguru. You are the CEO of your own life. No one has the right to make decisions for your life. So doing what is best for you is not a wrong thing to think of or do let alone feel guilty about it. It is only when we are able to do best for ourselves, is when we will be able to help others around us and bring out the best in ourselves as well.

Saying ‘NO’ When Needed: There are no multiple meanings for the term ‘NO’. We cannot be on the fence when the terms ‘YES’ & ‘NO’ are used in our lives. As much as we feel obligated to say ‘YES’ to everything in life, it can definitely have a negative impact on us. There is no one in this world who can say ‘YES’ to everything. Saying ‘NO’ is a guilty pleasure that will give you the time and energy to say ‘YES’ to things that matter the most to you. At times saying ‘NO’ can be the best thing to do so that you are able to focus on something more important and let go of things that are less important in your life.

Sleeping In: There used to be a superstition in old villages wherein people used to believe that if the moon is in the sleeping position the night before, it will rain the day after. Sleep and Rest are two different things. Sleeping is one of the ways you can have your body at rest so that you are energized the next day. As much as it is true that a human body requires 8 hours of sleep and oversleeping does affect the body, at times sleeping in can really help your body heal from the days that have taken a toll on your body due to less sleep and more anxiety. You need not feel guilty for taking care of your body after all your body is your temple and there is nothing more important than taking care of it.

Making Sure Your Needs Are Met: Food, Clothing & Shelter are some of the most basic needs of life. However, today our needs are modernized to materialistic things. We first need to understand the needs that will really help us in the longer run and accordingly have them met from time to time when we really feel the need to pay attention to them. 

  • Food: Consuming healthy food is important to keep ourselves fit and fine.
  • Clothing: Comfortable clothing are more important for our body than those who make us look good but kill our comfort from within
  • Shelter: Having a roof above our head is more important than how big the house is. Even though today the homes where we live have become a status symbol, there is no wisdom in having a house bigger than the families we live with.

Your Dreams & Aspirations: Dreams and aspirations go hand in hand when it comes to success. We aspire and hence we dream big. It is only because we dream that we put our thoughts and our heart towards our dreams and make them a reality. For some it is the purpose of their lives. If your dreams and aspirations give your life a purpose there is no shame in giving them priority over other aspects of life. People are always going to be there to cheer you up when you start, but how many are there with you until the end matters the most.

Your Spiritual Beliefs: There is a big difference in being spiritual and being religious. Very few understand the thin line between them. Spirituality helps a person understand himself/herself completely and bring out the best in them in order to live a life full of content. It can help humanity in general. Being religious is a personal choice. It will help you in becoming a better version of yourself to help others meet their needs as well. Spiritual beliefs help you start your day strong and end your day even stronger. It helps you keep all the external factors that affect people on a daily basis at bay.

Removing Someone From Your Life: Today, we distance ourselves from others for some or the other reasons. We meet different people at different modes of our life. Some help us become a better version of who we are and some teach us lessons we remember for the rest of our lives. When it comes to our personal life, we have the complete authority to keep or remove someone from our life, if the nature of our relationship is too toxic. There must be no guilt because we are not distancing  ourselves from the person but from the nature of the person which is not good for us at the moment.

Spending Money On Ourselves: I have mentioned this multiple times in my previous blogs that money is nothing but a tool for us to reach our destination and enjoy the comfort of life. Money is nothing but a currency that is earned so that it can be spent in the later stages of our lives. Even if it is saved now, it is with us with an intention of being spent over a period of time. Why is asking someone about their salary considered private? Obviously because the moment we get to know how much a person makes we start becoming judgemental about their decisions in life. Hence, since we are the one earning our bread and butter, we surely have the right to splurge on ourselves every once in a while and there is no one who can blame us for doing so.

Taking A Break From Social Media: Social Media today has become a contender for FOMO and increased depression and suicidal rates in every country. While there are millions who are always glued to their mobile devices to keep themselves connected, there are also many thousands who do not even know that social media exists, yet are living a good life. Taking a break from social media can definitely declutter your mind and give you a new perspective. Maybe you can spend some more time with your family and friends and even give some time to your hobbies that can definitely bring out the best in you. As much as social media is important for us to be connected to those who are away from us, it is also critical we spend time wisely on these platforms for a better mental health.

Setting Boundaries & Sticking To Them: Let’s be honest here. We all have crossed our boundaries at some point in time and later regretted it. Some of us may have faced some serious consequences for the same as well. Just like learning comes from mistakes, sticking to our boundaries can only come after we set our boundaries for ourselves. Setting boundaries can be much easier than sticking to them, however we must make a conscious effort to do so. Sticking to our boundaries will inculcate discipline and composure in our lives which will future help us in making better decisions as well.

There are certain things that we need to feel guilty about when we are on the wrong path. However, feeling guilty about everything that we do justifying the fact that it may or may not hurt someone is not the right way to live this life. We all have one life and we all deserve to learn from our mistakes and also be happy for a few decisions that we have made for our own good. Hope this article helps you to differentiate your guilt and help you to live a guilt free life most of the time.

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Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & YouTube