Saturday, June 19, 2021

Things Not To Feel Guilty About

Things Not To Feel Guilty About

 Guilt is a moral emotion that occurs when a person believes or realizes—accurately or not—that they have compromised their own standards of conduct or have violated universal moral standards and bear significant responsibility for that violation. In simple language GUILT is a feeling that creeps through our backbone when we have done something absolutely wrong or unnecessary and we later realize that it was not the right thing to do. Guilt is closely related to the idea of remorse, regret, as well as shame. On the other side guilt can also bring out the good in us and post realization we may have the option to make a conscious decision of making things right and in case that is not a possibility, the least we can do is acknowledge our mistakes, take a stand and apologize for the same. I would like to share a few things that we are often guilty of doing in this modernized world, but the reality is that these things work for the good of our lives and we must in no manner feel guilty about doing them.

Leaving A Job That Drains You: As per countless studies done around the globe over the last decades, it has been found that around 80% of the people doing their current jobs are unhappy with their jobs and are always on the lookout for their dream job. We are either working in such jobs for financial stability or due to responsibilities that we have in our lives. If 80% of the people are unhappy with their current jobs that can be a serious health hazard by itself. Hence, leaving such a job can never be a guiltful decision. Leaving a job that is affecting us physically and more importantly mentally is the best decision that we can make for your health and for a better life in future.

Declining A Phone Call: People spend an average of 3 hours per day on phone calls around the world. It may be even more based on the nature of our job and the connections we make on a daily basis. Each of these connections needs energy that is being drained out of our body every time we make that connection and spend time on it. Some of these connections can come with a positive idea while a few can be toxic as well. We often fall into the guilt trap and try to give our time to everyone that comes our way. However, if it is taking the time and energy out of our body every time we attend a call or make that connection, we definitely have the right to take a stand and make wise decisions on which connections to make and which ones are better avoided for a later day.

Doing What Is Best For You: There is a saying “If you do not do what you cannot do, it is all right. But if you do not do what you can do, your life is a tragedy” #Sadhguru. You are the CEO of your own life. No one has the right to make decisions for your life. So doing what is best for you is not a wrong thing to think of or do let alone feel guilty about it. It is only when we are able to do best for ourselves, is when we will be able to help others around us and bring out the best in ourselves as well.

Saying ‘NO’ When Needed: There are no multiple meanings for the term ‘NO’. We cannot be on the fence when the terms ‘YES’ & ‘NO’ are used in our lives. As much as we feel obligated to say ‘YES’ to everything in life, it can definitely have a negative impact on us. There is no one in this world who can say ‘YES’ to everything. Saying ‘NO’ is a guilty pleasure that will give you the time and energy to say ‘YES’ to things that matter the most to you. At times saying ‘NO’ can be the best thing to do so that you are able to focus on something more important and let go of things that are less important in your life.

Sleeping In: There used to be a superstition in old villages wherein people used to believe that if the moon is in the sleeping position the night before, it will rain the day after. Sleep and Rest are two different things. Sleeping is one of the ways you can have your body at rest so that you are energized the next day. As much as it is true that a human body requires 8 hours of sleep and oversleeping does affect the body, at times sleeping in can really help your body heal from the days that have taken a toll on your body due to less sleep and more anxiety. You need not feel guilty for taking care of your body after all your body is your temple and there is nothing more important than taking care of it.

Making Sure Your Needs Are Met: Food, Clothing & Shelter are some of the most basic needs of life. However, today our needs are modernized to materialistic things. We first need to understand the needs that will really help us in the longer run and accordingly have them met from time to time when we really feel the need to pay attention to them. 

  • Food: Consuming healthy food is important to keep ourselves fit and fine.
  • Clothing: Comfortable clothing are more important for our body than those who make us look good but kill our comfort from within
  • Shelter: Having a roof above our head is more important than how big the house is. Even though today the homes where we live have become a status symbol, there is no wisdom in having a house bigger than the families we live with.

Your Dreams & Aspirations: Dreams and aspirations go hand in hand when it comes to success. We aspire and hence we dream big. It is only because we dream that we put our thoughts and our heart towards our dreams and make them a reality. For some it is the purpose of their lives. If your dreams and aspirations give your life a purpose there is no shame in giving them priority over other aspects of life. People are always going to be there to cheer you up when you start, but how many are there with you until the end matters the most.

Your Spiritual Beliefs: There is a big difference in being spiritual and being religious. Very few understand the thin line between them. Spirituality helps a person understand himself/herself completely and bring out the best in them in order to live a life full of content. It can help humanity in general. Being religious is a personal choice. It will help you in becoming a better version of yourself to help others meet their needs as well. Spiritual beliefs help you start your day strong and end your day even stronger. It helps you keep all the external factors that affect people on a daily basis at bay.

Removing Someone From Your Life: Today, we distance ourselves from others for some or the other reasons. We meet different people at different modes of our life. Some help us become a better version of who we are and some teach us lessons we remember for the rest of our lives. When it comes to our personal life, we have the complete authority to keep or remove someone from our life, if the nature of our relationship is too toxic. There must be no guilt because we are not distancing  ourselves from the person but from the nature of the person which is not good for us at the moment.

Spending Money On Ourselves: I have mentioned this multiple times in my previous blogs that money is nothing but a tool for us to reach our destination and enjoy the comfort of life. Money is nothing but a currency that is earned so that it can be spent in the later stages of our lives. Even if it is saved now, it is with us with an intention of being spent over a period of time. Why is asking someone about their salary considered private? Obviously because the moment we get to know how much a person makes we start becoming judgemental about their decisions in life. Hence, since we are the one earning our bread and butter, we surely have the right to splurge on ourselves every once in a while and there is no one who can blame us for doing so.

Taking A Break From Social Media: Social Media today has become a contender for FOMO and increased depression and suicidal rates in every country. While there are millions who are always glued to their mobile devices to keep themselves connected, there are also many thousands who do not even know that social media exists, yet are living a good life. Taking a break from social media can definitely declutter your mind and give you a new perspective. Maybe you can spend some more time with your family and friends and even give some time to your hobbies that can definitely bring out the best in you. As much as social media is important for us to be connected to those who are away from us, it is also critical we spend time wisely on these platforms for a better mental health.

Setting Boundaries & Sticking To Them: Let’s be honest here. We all have crossed our boundaries at some point in time and later regretted it. Some of us may have faced some serious consequences for the same as well. Just like learning comes from mistakes, sticking to our boundaries can only come after we set our boundaries for ourselves. Setting boundaries can be much easier than sticking to them, however we must make a conscious effort to do so. Sticking to our boundaries will inculcate discipline and composure in our lives which will future help us in making better decisions as well.

There are certain things that we need to feel guilty about when we are on the wrong path. However, feeling guilty about everything that we do justifying the fact that it may or may not hurt someone is not the right way to live this life. We all have one life and we all deserve to learn from our mistakes and also be happy for a few decisions that we have made for our own good. Hope this article helps you to differentiate your guilt and help you to live a guilt free life most of the time.

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Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & YouTube

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Journaling- How To Get Started

 

Journaling- How To Get Started

As mentioned in my previous post i,e, Journaling- Rules & Benefits , this post is more focused on understanding how to get started with Journaling. 

Below are a few pointers that have been inspired by a well known Youtuber Megan Livingstone. The manner in which she has described to go about getting started with the idea of journaling is precise. 

I would like to share the same with you with a few additions of my own.

Invest in a Journal or Notebook: Many of us love to shop and when it comes to stationary, there are many who go head over heels for the same too. So enjoy the process of choosing a journal for yourself. This is one of my favorite things to do. Every year or so after I’ve finished a journal, I make a trip out to the store to choose a new one that I fancy the most. Look for one that’s not too small so that you do not have to spend more for another journal down the road.

Pick a Time: There’s no right or wrong time of day to journal, but it is best to choose a time in your schedule where you can be alone and uninterrupted. Before bed, in the evening, as part of your morning routine (this is a great time to set intentions for the day!), or any time you are feeling emotions that you want to dive deeper into is a great time to pull out your journal and write. It is not important to journal every single day. Again, whatever works for you! For me, sometimes I journal once or twice a week, sometimes every day for a few days, and other times I go a couple of months without journaling. It’s just a tool I turn to when I need to express myself, so there’s no specific time or amount that is required. Experiment and find what works best for you.

What to Write: Many people wonder what to write about in the first place when getting started with journaling. It can seem daunting or uninspiring to imagine staring at a blank notebook. But there are countless things for you to journal about.  You can also refer to the RULES OF JOURNALING that I have mentioned earlier for help.

Here are a few examples:

Limiting beliefs or fears that you have
Something that got you stressed on a given day
Decisions that you are unable to make at the moment
What are you grateful for?
Your prayers for those whom you love but you are not able to reach out

Writing Styles: Again, there’s no right or wrong way to journal, but here are some examples of writing styles that you may find helpful when getting started. I personally use a combination of these depending on how I’m feeling and what I’m writing about.

Stream of Consciousness: this is a style of writing whereby you simply write on 1-2 pages without stopping. You don’t pause to think about or judge what you’re going to write, but rather, allow whichever thoughts are present to be transferred on to paper, with or without the use of punctuation. This is a fun practice to do sometimes as you may find you repeat yourself several times, which can be an indicator of something that’s very prominent on your mind.

Brain Dump: I love doing brain dumps. This style of writing comes in handy for work or school or when you feel overwhelmed with a LOT of different things on your mind. To do a brain dump, simply write down ALL of the things that are weighing you down. This could be tasks you need to complete, upcoming projects, or things going on in your life. It feels so good to get it out! Then, you can organize these things by priority to help you feel more mentally organized.

Pros and Cons: writing out a list of pros and cons comes in handy when you are trying to make a decision. I’ve journaled out many big decisions in my life, including various pros and cons lists, and it’s really helpful to take a look at it in an objective way to help you gain some clarity.

Short & Sweet: sometimes all you may want to write is one simple sentence or a paragraph or two, and that’s perfectly fine!

Symbols & Drawings: adding some doodles or pictures to your journal alongside what you’re writing, or on their own, is a great way to further capture what it is you’re trying to say. It’s a fun way to express yourself, especially if you don’t feel like you have many words to say.

Just Notes: jot notes come in handy when you’re not in the mood for writing out several paragraphs. When you just want to get some stuff off your mind quickly and in an organized way, use jot notes/bullet points.

Poetry/Storytelling: writing your thoughts out as poetry is such a beautiful way to express yourself. I personally adore poetry and I love writing in this way when I don’t want to be so explicit, but creative instead.

My process of journaling is usually a combination of the above. I usually begin by writing down the date and then titling my journal entry something that reflects what I’m about to write about. Then I jump in by writing about something that happened to me, something that’s bothering me, how I’m feeling that day, what I need help with, or a fear or limiting belief that I want to explore. I just prefer keeping it simple!

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Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & YouTube


Saturday, June 5, 2021

Journaling- Rules & Benefits

Journaling- Rules & Benefits

Journaling is an amazing method to explore as well as express our thoughts, emotions, fears and other feelings in a more personal manner. Have you ever thought about or considered starting journaling? I have been journaling for over a decade now and it has always been something that I can turn to when I am feeling stressed out and low about my emotions. There’s no right or wrong way to journal and there are different approaches you can take as per your choice. Today we will try to cover up the most basic requirements of journaling as well as its benefits so that you can choose the best way for yourself and start with this effective method of feeling sane in this insane world.

RULES OF JOURNALING

Now every time we try to do something difficult or something ambitious, we must ensure we are aware of the most basic rules required to begin with the task. For E.g. If you are about to participate in a game, you need to know the rules so that you can play your best and make yourself proud. The same concept applies to the idea of journaling.

Start: The first step is always difficult, however as you begin the rest of the journey seems easy. However, what is more important is to take the first step and in order to take the first step you have to START somewhere.

Do Not Reread: The whole idea of journaling is to write down your thoughts and emotions as and when they come in your mind. Getting it right is not important. It is more important to express those emotions on paper. Rereading them will not help as you will be revisiting those moments all over again.

No Judging Yourself: The moment we judge ourselves, we are walking on the path of doubt. Journaling is not for you to judge yourself. It is a personal activity wherein you are in your own space and time away from any kind of judgement.

Don’t stress about grammar: Journaling is an aspect of expressing yourself freely. There is no right or wrong here and that is even applied to grammar. Here we are not writing a blog or a book wherein it will be viewed or judged by a large audience. Journaling is for that particular person who is journaling at that very moment. Hence, petty things like grammar should be the last thing that must come to our mind.

Try to write without distraction: Distractions can disrupt one's thought process. While journaling we are in that continuous stream of overflow of our thoughts and emotions being penned down which if distracted defeats the actual purpose. Hence, it is important to be less bothered while journaling.

Be proud of yourself: Journaling takes effort, time and patience. If you are able to consider these three aspects and work on it, you should consider yourself proud. It is just like counselling. The only difference here is that you are the counsellor and you are the one being counselled. That is definitely worth being proud of. 

BENEFITS OF JOURNALING

Below are a few pointers that I have been inspired by from the well-known Youtuber Megan Livingstone. The manner in which she has described the benefits and how to go about getting started with the idea of journaling is precise. I would like to share the same with you with a few additions of my own.

Reduces stress: Journaling helps reduce stress by decluttering our minds. It is a good medium to express ourselves freely. For a few it can be therapeutic as well. Journaling is a place that is free of judgement and allows us to process our emotions with an open mind. It gives us the required confidence to open up to ourselves and helps us attain a calm mind and clears our mind. It also helps in boosting our mood and feeling good about us.

Self-discovery: Journaling is also a great way to reflect on your day, your week, or your month. Reflecting helps us to understand more about ourselves, what we learned, what we could have done differently, or what we did really well. These are all essential to personal growth and allows us to feel a sense of connection with where we’re at and where we want to be in our lives. Journaling enables us to be honest with ourselves. Being honest can be challenging at times. Taking the time to sit down and write about how we feel can open us up in ways we don’t expect, and this sense of honesty and vulnerability can be very liberating and inspiring.

Gain Insights: Journaling not only helps us release pent up frustrations or anxieties, it also gives us the opportunity to see different angles of a situation, reach our own conclusions, find clarity, and even encourage and uplift ourselves. More often than not, we already have the answers to the questions we’re asking – sometimes we’re our own best person to consult. Journaling is a great way to tune into our intuition and recognize what is and isn’t right for us

Relaxation: Journaling is incredible for relaxation and is one of the main reasons why I recommend journaling around bedtime, although anytime is just fine. Taking a few minutes to relax and write while laying in bed – free of technology and electronic devices – gives us the chance to organize our thoughts and relieve the pressure from a busy mind. It’s a great way to spend quality time with yourself to check in on how you feel. It’s a win-win situation: you relax your mind and get a better night’s sleep, too! Calming activities before bed help to promote restful sleep, such as reading, drawing, writing, form of meditation

Creativity: Journaling allows us to get creative, and this is one of the best parts! In a world where we’re busy with a long list of responsibilities, it’s easy to lose touch with our creative side. Use a journal as a way to express yourself creatively either through poetry (my personal favourite), short stories, lyrics, even doodles and little bits of artwork. There are no rules to journaling, so make the experience your own.

Improves Memory: When you write something by hand, all that information increases the chances that knowledge will be stored in the human brain. In short, writing by hand forces your brain to process information in a more detailed way, which helps you successfully load that information into your memory as compared to reading the same information. The more you write, the more you register the details and the better you feel post that information is penned on paper.

Set Awareness & Reflection: Journaling helps us in being aware of certain concerns that we may not be aware of in general. When we sit down to write our journal, we are intentionally making a choice to jot down all the necessary information to make ourselves aware of the concerns in our minds. Further, it also helps us in reflecting over the same thoughts in future, if the concerns bother us anymore or if they have been resolved. 

Set Goals & Track Progress: Setting goals and tracking the progress of our goals post deciding on the goals is an important aspect of our personal or professional lives. As individuals we do wish to go ahead in life and for that tracking our progress is critical. Journaling in a way helps us to do so. Making a note of our goals helps us to keep them in check and tracking their progress at the end of the day not only motivates us to move ahead in life but also encourages us to take more goals on our plate.

After understanding the Rules and Benefits of Journaling next comes the ways to implement this in real life to be more practical. This way you will be able to see your life in a better way. We will share few of the best ways to implement this on our next post and I request you guys to stay tuned for the same. 

If you like this article, please support us by hitting the FOLLOW button and Subscribe to this blog by entering the email id in the SUBSCRIBE TO EK NEW LIFE POSTS section (verify the email from Feedburner after you have submitted the email id). You may also follow our social media profiles:

Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & YouTube

Saturday, May 29, 2021

What Rich People Teach Us

 

What Rich People Teach Us

The difference between working for rich established companies and for rich people is that established companies will help you grow within the organization, however working for rich people directly will help you grow in life. There is an old saying that “The progress of your life depends on the company you are always in”. If you are talking to rich people, you will always find a way to be better off than who you are today. If you are talking to people who wish to be where they are, you will not find growth.

Now when I use the term rich it does not mean Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates or any other entrepreneur who is a billionaire. It can be anyone who is doing better than you in terms of finance today. That person can be among your family, friends or even your office colleague. The whole idea is to be around those who are doing better than you in life and becoming the sponge that can absorb everything that you need to do better in life. So, without wasting any more time, let's jump to the things we get to learn while we are working with rich people.

Look at Results: People love to look busy in their lives, however being busy does not mean you are getting the job done. Some even prefer to seem busy so that they do not have to take more things onto their plate. Rich people do not care how busy you are at your desk. They are more concerned about the end results and not the progress. Whether a particular task takes you 2 hours to get done or 200 hours, the bottom line is that the task needs to get done at the end of that duration. The end result must be positive. That is all that matters when it comes down to business.

The Number Game: When it comes to building your business or working through it, the only thing that matters primarily is NUMBERS. The rich always quantify everything they do to make smart decisions. The better you are at numbers, the further you will be able to take your business from its current position. Businesses have always been about profit and loss. The only way to measure it is via NUMBERS. This is the most basic concept anyone who wishes to start a business must understand. 

Being Super productive: Being productive is something everyone is expected of whether at home or at work. Productivity is measured in terms of the work that is completed by the end of the day at a given time. At times it is also monitored in an hourly manner. However, the rich do not have the luxury to spend all day on a single task. Hence, they are required to be super productive on certain tasks and the rest are delegated accordingly. Being super productive is nothing but giving your 100% focus to that one task that needs to be completed and getting it done in the least amount of time. It is usually not hard work, it has more to do with decision making and analyzing data.

Consistency Matters: While doing any task it is not the small bursts of work that keeps you moving ahead but the consistency is what matters. You may work above average on one day of the month, however if you are below average for the rest of the month, it really does not fit the bill. E.g. If you are trying your best to lose weight and you choose to run for 3 hours straight on one day in a week rather than running 30 minutes daily throughout the same week, it will only break you down and further delay the progress. However, running 30 minutes daily will get you in the habit and improve the consistency of your labor. Hence, working consistently in a similar fashion works miracles over a period of time.

The Vision: Every founder of every business starts with a vision in mind. The challenge is to ensure that this vision is communicated to his partners, investors and the employees to ensure the success of the company long term. A vision is a statement that proceeds the company to showcase the intention of the organization and its products for its consumers. The greater the vision, the greater the success. Having a vision is clearly much easier than accomplishing it. Very few businesses start with a vision and then move on to profits as the only vision and that makes a company suffer in the longer run, however as long as you have a clear vision and you are working on it your company will do well.

Control Your Emotions: It is often interpreted that rich people do not have emotions and the only thing they care about is the amount in their bank account. However, that is not always the case. In the initial stages while starting a company, the amount of sacrifices that you need to make to ensure you enjoy the fruits of your labor in future is tremendous. It also includes not being emotionally involved in unnecessary things in life that can take your focus elsewhere. Rich people do have emotions. They just know how to handle them better and fuel their emotions to work better for a successful life. 

Money Is Just A Tool: Every rich individual understands this idea very clearly. Getting rich is never the end game. Most of the rich people do not stop at getting rich which means that money is just a tool for them to achieve success and no matter how much of it they possess there is always room for more. However, they look at money as a tool for success. They do not get attached to the idea of how much money they make. As long as the business is profitable, they are fine with it. Just as education is a tool for you to get a job, similarly money is a tool to grow your business exponentially and measure success.

Have A Budget: Budget is everything when it comes to investing in something that is going to bring value to you over a period of time. Whether you are starting a company or going to the supermarket to get some groceries, budget is something that reminds you of the limited resources you have to consider spending to ensure you do not go overboard. A budget lays down the foundational rule for the fundamental success of any task. Without a budget it is like flying blind and you never know the next moment you may crash and burn and no one wants to do that.

Time Is Valuable: Time is the most valuable resource in hand for anyone and everyone on this planet. Save a rich person $2000 and you may get a pay hike, however save a rich person 2 hours and you may get a new life. The only thing that you can bring to the table to a high net worth individual is TIME. Time is the only resource that cannot be made more of. So, if you have the skill to save time for the rich, you will soon become a part of their inner circle and learn the tricks of the trade. Every rich individual understands the value of time over money, this is called wisdom. Money can come and go but time once lost cannot be brought back again no matter the money you possess.

Show Up: Opportunities always show up at our doorstep, but how much do we do to ensure we show up to these occasions and prove ourselves. The point to note here is not whether we conquer the opportunity or not. The mere fact of showing up shows discipline and determination in what we wish to do. We can leave the rest. Whether it was school exams, college exams, open houses, job interviews, business meetings etc. it is always more important to show up to show that you care. Showing up can also be related to showing that you are grateful for the opportunity and wish to make the best of it. Not everyone gets the same opportunity and when we have one, we must make the best of it.

The Next Thing: The hunger that the rich people showcase towards the next opportunity or the next idea of expansion is tremendous. If you have ever been in the company of a rich and successful individual, you will never see them rest. They are always ahead of their game and always looking forward to the next big thing to conquer and establish their name in the outer world. Maybe it gives them some sort of satisfaction or it is purely madness. However you put it across, it definitely brings out the best in them.

There is an old saying “It matters whom you sit with, whom you eat with and whom you work with” This quote does nothing but hint that company does make a huge difference in our lives. It directs our life to success. The more we are around positive and successful people, the more we feel the hunger to do better in life for ourselves as well as for the good of others around us. It is a continuous learning experience that each one of us needs to embrace to do the best in this lifetime.

If you like this article, please support us by hitting the FOLLOW button and Subscribe to this blog by entering the email id in the SUBSCRIBE TO EK NEW LIFE POSTS section (verify the email from Feedburner after you have submitted the email id). You may also follow our social media profiles:

Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & YouTube

Saturday, May 22, 2021

Bottling Up Emotions

 

Bottling Up Emotions

If there is one thing that we as humans are very good at is hiding our troubles and bottling up our emotions. Emotions play a very important role in our lives. Our actions are dictated by emotions. Emotions are a trigger to our actions whether positive or negative. The better we learn to manage our emotions instead of controlling them or bottling them up into our hearts, the sooner we will begin to make wise decisions and live a peaceful life. 

Have you ever seen a volcano erupt? Have you ever witnessed or considered the magnitude of destruction caused when a volcano erupts after years of silence? The same thing happens to us and the people around us when we bottle up our emotions and there is a blowout after many such instances of bottling up our thoughts and emotions. It also affects the people around us who care about us and who do not have a clue about what is going on in our lives. Such blowouts cause a lot of damage in relationships and also affect our physical and mental life over a period of time. Below are a few signs of bottling up emotions that you must have come across in your life:

Avoid Listening to Ourselves: Do you remember the last time you talked to yourself?  If you do not remember then it is about time you begin talking to yourself and listening to your inner being. It is vital that we self-evaluate ourselves once every now and then. We often do not go deeper inorder to find the root cause of our issues, however if we wish to solve any concern that is hindering in our life, it is very important that we get to the root and uproot the matter ourselves. In today’s world time is a scarcity. No one has time for each other though we have all the convenience of technology hence it becomes even more critical that we spend time with ourselves, jot down all our concerns and approach them one by one positively with sensible solutions.

Embarrassed by Emotions: Many of us at times feel that the issues that we face of emotions (like anger and sadness) that we experience are petty to speak about to anyone in person. However, if we realise the kind of damage these emotions can do to us, we will realise it is not worth bottling them up within us. It is okay to be embarrassed about these emotions by ourselves. However, when we express these thoughts and emotions to close family and friends, they may not think of it the same way. They may understand things from your point of view and offer you a helping hand to resolve them. It is always better to try resolving issues than not trying at all.

Never Talk About Emotions: We are very private when it comes to our emotions and very selective with whom we share our emotions as it is very personal to us, however at times our emotions are so private or personal that we refrain from sharing them with anyone. This could be a red signal and could lead to more complex issues in our lives in the future. We do not have to talk to everyone about our emotions. It is imperative that we resolve the conflicts that we have with our emotions no matter how personal or complicated they are to ensure we lead a peaceful life ahead. In case you are not ready to share your emotions at the earlier stages, you can definitely take the path of journaling your emotions and then when you have the courage and the strength to take them over you can revisit them. However, it is important that we express and address our emotions before it is too la

We Keep Ourselves Guarded: A few of us have this personality of building walls in front of us that further make it difficult for us to communicate about our emotions with others. This could be a hereditary behaviour that we have inherited from our parents or a personality trait that we have acquired over a period of time with experiences. In today’s world it is rather impossible to trust everyone and hence at times we heavily guard ourselves from the outer world that can lead to loneliness, depression & self-destruction. Isolating ourselves from others for the time being is not a bad thing, however running away from people just to hide our emotions can have a detrimental effect on oneself. Hence it is important to open up but with the right people in mind and never go silent.

We are always “Alright”: Whenever we meet anyone and they ask us “How are you doing? Or How is it going? We always have a positive reply ready for them “I am fine” or “I am doing good” though we have 100 issues going through our head on that day. Why do we say so?  There could be multiple reasons for not expressing our true thoughts to them. However, the fact that we are considering our life to be alright is a major concern. We may meet people with whom we are not comfortable sharing our life with, however you can definitely give them a gist of your concern, you never know they may have a solution for you. If the issue you are facing is more personal and if it is affecting your ego discussing it with anyone and everyone then you can surely get in touch with your close family and friends or take professional help for the same.

We Are Aggressive: We have often heard the saying that “ANGER can be a root cause of many issues” Now ANGER is not a bad thing, in fact it is good to express anger when you feel it as it allows you to went out your emotions and helps your brain and nervous system calm down. However, the action that we may perform out of the result of ANGER can be devastating at times. Many people have landed themselves in prison for their actions post a blowout in ANGER. Aggressiveness comes from anger. Many times we are so hard on ourselves that we keep getting angry either at ourselves for doing something or feeling something, we do not wish to do or feel. We need to relax in such circumstances and revisit the situation when we are calm and able to think straight.

Holding Grudges: Holding grudges is an act of a revengeful mind. As long as we hold grudges against people, we are actually poisoning ourselves and not the people around us. For all that you know the people we have grudges on may not think bad of us at all. It keeps your mind constantly working in that negativity which over a period of time becomes toxic. It is obvious this emotion is a personal one and it always lands up bottling in our minds as we do not find ourselves comfortable sharing with others as well. Forgive and Forget are the two best solutions for such kinds of emotions. Life is short, it is better to live and let live. Holding grudges is only going to make us miserable and the other person above us at all times.

Blowup Over Small Things: This is one emotion that many of us are guilty about. Blowing up over small things happens once in a while, however it is something that has been piling up in our minds all this while since a long time. The best thing to do in such scenarios is speak yourself out when the time is right and get clarity. Blowing up is not only going to catch the other person off guard but also make the situation more difficult to manage. Apart from that blowing up over small things is petty enough as well. We often avoid small topics and later on think over it again and again until we are frustrated with it. Instead we must ensure that we confront such petty issues immediately and settle the matter down at that very moment.

So, while it is important to acknowledge and express your emotions, the first step is to understand what kind of harm are we causing ourselves by bottling up emotions. 

1. We end up feeling lonely

2. We feel anxious all the time

3. We cling onto unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking, smoking, drugs etc

4. We experience unhealthy symptoms like increase in weight, digestive issues etc

5. We  have regular headaches

Hence, the next time you feel yourself bottling up your emotions, try some of these tips:  

Cultivate awareness. Pay attention to and identify emotions as they crop up. Stay away from people who make you feel stressed, sad, frustrated or angry. Try to address the circumstances that trigger distressing emotions immediately.

Slow down. Give yourself time to think and calm down before you react to a person or a situation.

Manage stress. Practice relaxation methods, including deep breathing, exercise and yoga.

Take care of your body. Exercise regularly (even just for a few minutes), eat healthy meals and get good sound sleep.

Express your feelings in the right way. Find comfort and relief by communicating with family and friends who will be supportive, validating and empathetic. Let them know when something is upsetting you and talk through it out loud.

Family and friends are significant support resources, but they may not always be able to help you manage your emotional state. Be open to seeking professional help from a trained mental health provider for advice and support to help you improve your emotional health. Hope this article helps one and all to express themselves better going further.

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Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & YouTube

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Doubt Your Doubts

 

Doubt Your Doubts

What is a Doubt? A Doubt is a common feeling that we come across whenever we think of something that we are about to do and we are not sure about it. Doubt is nothing but a form of fear before the start of any action. There is no one in this world who does not doubt because it is doubt that confirms in us if the action that we are about to take is worth it or not.

Why do we Doubt? We are all humans and it is human tendency to think before acting over anything that we are supposed to do. When we think, we are analyzing multiple scenarios or making some of the most important decisions if not all before going ahead and putting our thoughts into actions. E.g. Career Prospects. Initially, we are always confused about what career to choose so that we are able to achieve success and meet our goals at the end of the day. We think about the resources that will be required for the career, the amount of time we may have to put in, the amount of hard work and most importantly if we are comfortable considering that particular career in our life. Now these are all doubts which may not have definite answers, hence we work around these doubts and then go ahead with our final decision.

How to Live with Doubts? Living with doubt or doubting our own doubts is a deeper way of living. It is a more conscious effort that we need to make in order to live a better and more secure life. Doubts are nothing but a rush of thoughts. We need to ensure that we do not drown in that flood of thoughts. Instead, we must make a note of it and act upon it wisely one by one. Do not worry about the time taken to resolve your doubts, what is more vital here is that the doubts are cleared and at the end of the day you are content with your final decision. Every doubt must end up with a final decision made consciously and with a feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment.

Doubt is Like the Ocean: Have you ever noticed an ocean carefully. The surface of the ocean will always seem to be wavy, roaring like a lion, wild and noisy just like the rush of thoughts in our minds. However, when you go deeper into the ocean at the bottom of it you will find stillness, calm, silence, peace, beauty out there which is what we need to achieve in our minds to ensure we are able to handle our doubts well. We are always going to be surrounded by doubts, however the answer is in living deeper and making conscious decisions.

Switch Off Your Mind: When there is chaos in your mind, you have to switch off, get composed and then again get back to where you left. Similarly, when your mind is flooded with doubts, you need to turn your brains off and listen to your heart. The brain makes calculative decisions, however your heart knows your gut and it knows you inside out. Take that decision into consideration and only then listen to your brain. Let your emotions dictate if your doubt is genuine or not. Have you ever felt in your heart that a particular person is trustworthy or not? How many times have you ignored your heart and gone ahead with your mind? How many times has that got you into trouble and resulted in betrayal and untrustworthy behavior? Your heart says it all. Always follow your heart and once you have made your decision let your brains work upon it.

Everyone Doubts: It is pretty normal to conclude that everyone doubts someone or something in their life. It may not be consistent; however it definitely happens at least once for the first time. There is nothing much we can do about the doubts that come to us, however we are free to doubt those doubts and come to a conclusion if those doubts are genuine or just a mere creation of thoughts in our minds. It is always healthy to clear our doubts and failing which leads to restlessness and lack of peace of mind. It is true that everyone doubts but hardly anyone doubts their doubts for anything. Making this a practice can really simplify your life.

Doubt brings Trust: If I look at the aspect of doubt all by itself, it is really unwise to say that doubt brings trust after all doubt is the cause of breaking all trusts. However, if we change the course and take the idea positively of doubting our doubts, we are actually making an effort to bring clarity to our minds so that we can clear our doubts and then take the decision of trusting the person. Just like Negative * Negative = Positive, similarly doubting your doubt can definitely bring positivity to your relationships and your life respectively.

Treat All Doubts Equally: We as human beings can at times be biased towards the people we love as compared to those whom we do not know much about. Similarly, not all doubts are treated equally. We look forward to the positive doubts more as compared to the ones that bring negativity in our minds. However, we must ensure that we treat all doubts equally. Positive doubts will definitely help us from taking foolish risks, however negative doubts can also keep us at bay from making silly mistakes. The only difference here is that we may have to work harder on the negative doubts and back it up with legitimate data to consider them over not considering them. Given that we live in a culture that thrives on insecurities and fuels our doubts, we have to be extra cautious to distinguish between the doubts that are serving us from those that are stifling us - keeping us from taking the very actions that would build our confidence, open new areas of opportunity and expand our horizons.

Doubts come in our life from every direction possible and have the ability to bring chaos in our lives, however it is up to us how we go about managing our doubts by doubting them in the first place and finding a sensible and reasonable outcome. There is a saying that chaos is not the ideal situation for anyone to make a sane decision, however if that chaos is organized, we can surely make the best of it and work it to our advantage. Hope this article helps you understand your doubts further more in detail and helps you in making decisions in your everyday life.

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Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & YouTube

Saturday, May 8, 2021

The Diderot Effect

The Diderot Effect

 I have not been much of a shopping fanatic myself however, I have been thinking why do we get so attracted to the idea of purchasing something and why is it that we feel the dopamine effect the moment we are in the shopping mode. There is something about shopping stuff at shopping centres or online that makes us feel good about ourselves. I have also come across a few people around me who shop only for the sake of it. Some even believe that shopping is related to depression as well as it helps to reduce stress and anxiety from our daily lives.

Why do we buy so much stuff that today our lives are surrounded with unnecessary things that lead to cluttering our life? To some extent this clutter can also lead to unnecessary stress as well. In the 18th century, a French philosopher by the name of “Denis Diderot” explained this motivation of needless consumption which led to the concept of “The Diderot Effect” named after his own last name. The simplest description of the Diderot Effect is “The introduction of a new possession into a consumer’s existence will often result in a process of spiralling consumption.” In other words, the purchase of one new item often leads to the purchase of another. 

“I was absolute master of my old dressing gown, but I have become a slave to my new one” - Denis Diderot (1875)

Here is how we can overcome The Diderot Effect in our lives and resist this pattern of unnecessary purchases. Let me offer some thoughts:

Become Aware: We need to understand and become aware of the level of consumerism that surrounds us. Many times we are so subconsciously used to purchasing things without having much thought about what we buy, we are just not aware of the things we buy, when we buy it and the reason for it. The moment we are aware of our actions, we will realise how often we lead ourselves into the spiral wave of purchasing things. The earlier we become aware of it, the sooner we can control it and over a period of time be more reasonable and realistic when we introduce the next thing in our life.

Analyse & Forecast future purchases: A store or a website may have some good offers on electronics with latest technology, however if it forces you to buy new accessories with it, it just becomes a more expensive purchase than originally assumed. Apart from that you also need to reason yourself out. Do you really need the latest technology available in the market or is your current item that you possess serving your purpose? Many times, we may think that adding new devices to our tech collection makes us look or feel cool, however if we are not making use of that particular technology often there is no point in making such purchases in the first place.

Avoid Unnecessary Purchases: The Diderot Effect is a significant behaviour and overcoming it is very difficult. You may avoid replacing those end tables at first, but eventually, at some point down the road, you are going to break down and buy new ones that better match the new couch. There are times when we have a legitimate need to buy new things. But the best way to overcome the Diderot Effect is to never allow it to overpower you in the first place. Whenever you wish to purchase something new, try and foresee what could be the things that you might have to change considering the new purchase. Accordingly, you can prepare yourself for the new purchase and not be tempted towards making additional purchases.

Avoid Being Materialistic: Real life is not found in the things that you own but, in the experience, you come across on a daily basis. It is often expressed that we need to inculcate the idea of minimalism in our lives and avoid cluttering our life with materials that do not give us any happiness. Your possessions do not define you as a person or your success. No matter what marketers will try to tell you, you are the CEO of your life and you need to make the decision on what kind of life you wish to live in future. A life full of possessions and less meaning or a blissful life of abundance and content.

See Value in Things Not Status: We need to stop trying to impress others with our stuff and start trying to impress them with our life. When we purchase anything new no matter how much we are excited to have it or how much it means to us, over a period of time the value of it fades away. Materials can always be replaced by something or the other unless it holds emotional importance to us. Hence, we need to ensure that we see value in the things we purchase so that we can appreciate each and everything we possess in our life. Purchasing stuff to improve our status can never be the end goal of life. It will not only give us temporary happiness but always keep us active in the web of the Diderot effect.

Notice The Diderot Effect in your own life. Soon, as you begin to recognize it around you, it will become one less cause of unnecessary consumerism in your home and wallet. Hope this helps.

If you like this article, please support us by hitting the FOLLOW button and Subscribe to this blog by entering the email id in the SUBSCRIBE TO EK NEW LIFE POSTS section (verify the email from Feedburner after you have submitted the email id). You may also follow our social media profiles:

Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & YouTube