Saturday, May 22, 2021

Bottling Up Emotions


Bottling Up Emotions

If there is one thing that we as humans are very good at is hiding our troubles and bottling up our emotions. Emotions play a very important role in our lives. Our actions are dictated by emotions. Emotions are a trigger to our actions whether positive or negative. The better we learn to manage our emotions instead of controlling them or bottling them up into our hearts, the sooner we will begin to make wise decisions and live a peaceful life. 

Have you ever seen a volcano erupt? Have you ever witnessed or considered the magnitude of destruction caused when a volcano erupts after years of silence? The same thing happens to us and the people around us when we bottle up our emotions and there is a blowout after many such instances of bottling up our thoughts and emotions. It also affects the people around us who care about us and who do not have a clue about what is going on in our lives. Such blowouts cause a lot of damage in relationships and also affect our physical and mental life over a period of time. Below are a few signs of bottling up emotions that you must have come across in your life:

Avoid Listening to Ourselves: Do you remember the last time you talked to yourself?  If you do not remember then it is about time you begin talking to yourself and listening to your inner being. It is vital that we self-evaluate ourselves once every now and then. We often do not go deeper inorder to find the root cause of our issues, however if we wish to solve any concern that is hindering in our life, it is very important that we get to the root and uproot the matter ourselves. In today’s world time is a scarcity. No one has time for each other though we have all the convenience of technology hence it becomes even more critical that we spend time with ourselves, jot down all our concerns and approach them one by one positively with sensible solutions.

Embarrassed by Emotions: Many of us at times feel that the issues that we face of emotions (like anger and sadness) that we experience are petty to speak about to anyone in person. However, if we realise the kind of damage these emotions can do to us, we will realise it is not worth bottling them up within us. It is okay to be embarrassed about these emotions by ourselves. However, when we express these thoughts and emotions to close family and friends, they may not think of it the same way. They may understand things from your point of view and offer you a helping hand to resolve them. It is always better to try resolving issues than not trying at all.

Never Talk About Emotions: We are very private when it comes to our emotions and very selective with whom we share our emotions as it is very personal to us, however at times our emotions are so private or personal that we refrain from sharing them with anyone. This could be a red signal and could lead to more complex issues in our lives in the future. We do not have to talk to everyone about our emotions. It is imperative that we resolve the conflicts that we have with our emotions no matter how personal or complicated they are to ensure we lead a peaceful life ahead. In case you are not ready to share your emotions at the earlier stages, you can definitely take the path of journaling your emotions and then when you have the courage and the strength to take them over you can revisit them. However, it is important that we express and address our emotions before it is too la

We Keep Ourselves Guarded: A few of us have this personality of building walls in front of us that further make it difficult for us to communicate about our emotions with others. This could be a hereditary behaviour that we have inherited from our parents or a personality trait that we have acquired over a period of time with experiences. In today’s world it is rather impossible to trust everyone and hence at times we heavily guard ourselves from the outer world that can lead to loneliness, depression & self-destruction. Isolating ourselves from others for the time being is not a bad thing, however running away from people just to hide our emotions can have a detrimental effect on oneself. Hence it is important to open up but with the right people in mind and never go silent.

We are always “Alright”: Whenever we meet anyone and they ask us “How are you doing? Or How is it going? We always have a positive reply ready for them “I am fine” or “I am doing good” though we have 100 issues going through our head on that day. Why do we say so?  There could be multiple reasons for not expressing our true thoughts to them. However, the fact that we are considering our life to be alright is a major concern. We may meet people with whom we are not comfortable sharing our life with, however you can definitely give them a gist of your concern, you never know they may have a solution for you. If the issue you are facing is more personal and if it is affecting your ego discussing it with anyone and everyone then you can surely get in touch with your close family and friends or take professional help for the same.

We Are Aggressive: We have often heard the saying that “ANGER can be a root cause of many issues” Now ANGER is not a bad thing, in fact it is good to express anger when you feel it as it allows you to went out your emotions and helps your brain and nervous system calm down. However, the action that we may perform out of the result of ANGER can be devastating at times. Many people have landed themselves in prison for their actions post a blowout in ANGER. Aggressiveness comes from anger. Many times we are so hard on ourselves that we keep getting angry either at ourselves for doing something or feeling something, we do not wish to do or feel. We need to relax in such circumstances and revisit the situation when we are calm and able to think straight.

Holding Grudges: Holding grudges is an act of a revengeful mind. As long as we hold grudges against people, we are actually poisoning ourselves and not the people around us. For all that you know the people we have grudges on may not think bad of us at all. It keeps your mind constantly working in that negativity which over a period of time becomes toxic. It is obvious this emotion is a personal one and it always lands up bottling in our minds as we do not find ourselves comfortable sharing with others as well. Forgive and Forget are the two best solutions for such kinds of emotions. Life is short, it is better to live and let live. Holding grudges is only going to make us miserable and the other person above us at all times.

Blowup Over Small Things: This is one emotion that many of us are guilty about. Blowing up over small things happens once in a while, however it is something that has been piling up in our minds all this while since a long time. The best thing to do in such scenarios is speak yourself out when the time is right and get clarity. Blowing up is not only going to catch the other person off guard but also make the situation more difficult to manage. Apart from that blowing up over small things is petty enough as well. We often avoid small topics and later on think over it again and again until we are frustrated with it. Instead we must ensure that we confront such petty issues immediately and settle the matter down at that very moment.

So, while it is important to acknowledge and express your emotions, the first step is to understand what kind of harm are we causing ourselves by bottling up emotions. 

1. We end up feeling lonely

2. We feel anxious all the time

3. We cling onto unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking, smoking, drugs etc

4. We experience unhealthy symptoms like increase in weight, digestive issues etc

5. We  have regular headaches

Hence, the next time you feel yourself bottling up your emotions, try some of these tips:  

Cultivate awareness. Pay attention to and identify emotions as they crop up. Stay away from people who make you feel stressed, sad, frustrated or angry. Try to address the circumstances that trigger distressing emotions immediately.

Slow down. Give yourself time to think and calm down before you react to a person or a situation.

Manage stress. Practice relaxation methods, including deep breathing, exercise and yoga.

Take care of your body. Exercise regularly (even just for a few minutes), eat healthy meals and get good sound sleep.

Express your feelings in the right way. Find comfort and relief by communicating with family and friends who will be supportive, validating and empathetic. Let them know when something is upsetting you and talk through it out loud.

Family and friends are significant support resources, but they may not always be able to help you manage your emotional state. Be open to seeking professional help from a trained mental health provider for advice and support to help you improve your emotional health. Hope this article helps one and all to express themselves better going further.

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Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & YouTube