Friday, January 15, 2021

Hard Choices

Hard Choices


Hard Choices are a part of our everyday life. At some point in time, we all come across situations where we have had to make hard choices and live by it. No one is exempted from making tough decisions in life. In case we have never come across such a moment in our lives, then I am sure it is somewhere in the pipeline. It is just a matter of time when you will come face to face to making that tough choice. We all hope for choices to be easy and made at the flip of a coin, but not all decisions are that exciting. Remember those childhood days when we could not wait to become adults and earn our own money. We were always eager to get independent and take on the world. There is a saying "Be Careful, what you wish for" Once we have reached that level of maturity to make our own decisions, it does not get any easier. Every decision that we make in our life affects our life either positively or negatively. Hence, it is not only important that we take our time to make these decisions but also make them consciously. Every decision is an experience all by itself and results in a journey that we all go through. Learning from it is the most important aspect of life. 

I have jotted down a few hard choices that many of us may have to make in our journey through life and hopefully we can take away something good from it to make our life a bit easier.

Education or Work: This is one of the most important decisions we may have to make in our lives. As much as we get eager to work and earn our own living than complete our studies, it is also important to understand that good jobs come only with good education. There are pros and cons to both of them.

  • Education:

  1. Pros: We get to complete our education in one go without any gap in between and get certified. We have more options while approaching better jobs. We have more exposure to more options such as Post Graduation or PHD in case you wish to study further.
  2. Cons: It will take us more time to remain dependent on our parents and become completely independent. Money will come in later into our lives hence we may not be able to make certain financial decisions that we always wished to make.
  • Work: 

  1. Pros: You are your own boss. You can make any decision you wish to in your life having complete control. You need not depend on anyone else financially. You will have more exposure to the outer world as compared to college.
  2. Cons: Incomplete education. It will be more challenging to get back to studies working a full-time job. Also, taking a gap from work will leave us without money which may make us feel paralyzed when it comes to managing our own expenses and making certain financial decisions.

Follow Passion or Money: There is nothing better than our passion becoming our profession. However, many passions die out within the individuals as they do not earn a substantial amount for a living through that passion. However, today the world of opportunities are no more the same. We can follow any passion we wish to and earn a living out of it as long as we have the patience and determination to do so. Initially we may have to do odd jobs to fuel our passion, however it will pay off in the longer run for sure as long as we are consistent and committed to it. Eventually our passion will turn into our profession earning us a decent living. 

Move Out or Stay with Parents: As families become more and more nuclear in today’s age, the thought of moving out, being independent and not being answerable to anyone is quite tempting. However, it comes with its own set of challenges as well. Moving out is not tough but survival post moving out is. We may have to make way more difficult decisions and sacrifices moving out as compared to when we were with our parents. Our parents have lived on this earth more than us. They have the experience it takes to thrive in the outer world. As much as it is a proud feeling of being independent, it is also important that we have the guidance and the wisdom from our parents before moving out. The transition of anything from one stage to another is tough, but once we have worked it out it will work in our favor.

Be Single or Get Married: Marriages may be made in heaven, but often they are broken on earth. Being single for the time being or getting married is a personal choice. It is up to us to choose if we are ready for it or not. Just like the birds learn to fly when they come out of their nests, we also wish for a companion in our lives to share our lives with them for the rest of time. However, this is an important decision for all of us. It is not just about making our life but also engaging with the life of another individual. In the early days these decisions were made by our parents and we often didn’t have a say in it. However today the times have changed along with the culture. We can surely take our time to make the right decision and give it our best.

Settle Down or Not: Today not everyone is on the same page when it comes to jobs, life partners, goals etc. Not all of us are accountants, bankers, engineers or doctors. Having said that everyone is looking out at the thing they can do the best and are also looking out for better options. This can take more time than expected. Today the time period to begin education or end with a degree does not depend on our age. Similarly, completing our education and getting the right job can take some time. Meanwhile, we may have to adjust with odd jobs just for the sake of survival and that is okay. In such situations it becomes difficult to make the decision of settling down. Do not compare yourself to the life of others. Go slow and take your time. We are not aware of others' battles in their own personal lives. So, own your own battles and win. Everyone settles down at some point in time. It is just a matter of time which you have in abundance.

Have Children or Not: Bringing a new life into this world has its own set of challenges. The level of responsibility increases four-fold. Having a child in your life is like working on a project. It is no less than a 20-year project i.e. if your child is doing well. If not, it can be a lifetime project too. Hence taking this decision can be a real tricky one. We may want to consider a few things here :

  • Why: Why do we wish to have children? 

  • When: When would be the right time to start with a family? We may also want to consider our financial and emotional condition before making this decision.

  • How: How do we intend to raise the child? What values do we wish to inculcate in our child?

  • Where: Where do you wish to bring up your child? The environment in which your child thrives is very important for the child mental and emotional wellbeing.

Walk Away or Try Harder: Today toxic relationships are common. If we are in a toxic relationship, we may have to make this choice at some point in time. However, we need to understand that this decision is made considering two lives and not just one. As much as walking away from any relationship is an easier choice, at times it’s important for both individuals. Others may see it as a convenient route taken, but you know what is best for yourself. Similarly, if the person toxicating the relationship is ready to improve and shows signs of approaching positivity, contributes to solving issues, we can also look at giving the relationship another chance to survive.

Buy or rent a property: Having a roof over your head is not only important but also a necessity in today’s world. As families are becoming more and more nuclear, the need for houses are rising. This has also led to an exponential growth in the sale of properties as well as temporary rentals. As long as we are staying with our parents, this is not a concern, however the moment we choose to move out and be independent we may have to make this decision sooner than later.

Health or Money: As long as we live on this planet our time is ticking away by the day and so does our health as well. There is an old saying that "Health is Wealth". As long as we are healthy, we can always continue to work for the rest of our lives and earn our livelihood. We should ensure we take care of our health so that we do not spend all our hard-earned money on our health when it is the time for us to relax and enjoy the rest of our lives.

Hard Choices need a lot of thought and experience. Do not make haste while making such tough decisions. Ponder on it as long as you wish to as the decision once made and acted upon can be modified in some way but never be changed. Take guidance from family and friends and we shall be in a better position to make the decision. 

I really hope this topic helps you in making all those tough choices that are supposed to be made in future. If there is any touch choice you had to make in the past which is not listed out here do mention in the comments below. We would love to hear from you and absorb some wisdom out of it. 

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Written by Jaison Noronha
Idea Source : Personal Experiences & Youtube

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