Monday, June 15, 2020

Know Your Worth

If I were to offer you a 100 rupee crisp note fresh outta the ATM (for no reason I’m just handing out notes) you would take it right? How about if I spill a glass of water on the note? You’d still take it? Okay, now what if I crumple it in my fist? Would you still take it? The note when crisp or wet or crumpled doesn’t change the fact that the note is still worth a 100 rupees. So what makes you think other people’s judgments, bad situations can define your value? More than the situation itself, your response to it determines how detrimental the situation actually is. And that is why knowing your worth and standing up for it becomes very important. So how do we achieve that?

1. Inner hero to kill the inner critique:

We often fall victim to our inner critique and allow it to influence our decisions, we make choices not for what we want or what we can become but for what we fear to do or think can’t do. So stop defining what you can’t and start defining what you can. Then slowly, expand on what you can. Give birth to an inner hero that will silence the inner critique. Fuel your inner hero with your strengths, your capabilities, your achievements and positive affirmations. Journaling positive affirmations, speaking them to your reflection in the mirror are different ways to deliver the message to your inner hero which will slash the face out of your inner critique. 

2. Stop comparing!

Only you can define your value. Someone else’s beauty is not the absence of your own. Stop comparing yourself to others. Compare yourself to your past self and measure the progress in increments of 4-6 months. Sometimes it can even take over an year to develop a strong sense of self-worth. So be patient and believe in yourself. You’ll get there.

3. Speaking up

Now that includes both saying “NO” and standing up for yourself. You don’t want to spend another weekend drinking and gossiping? Say it to your friend. You think your way is the right way to do this project efficiently? Speak up! Tell your boss why you think you can do it.

You already know what you don’t want to do but can’t say no, so recognize those events that you wish you would have avoided by just saying no. Mark your boundaries, stick by them and say no. Your well-being, opinion and beliefs are just as important and you won’t benefit from participating in those events. So say no. Similarly, do not settle for lesser than what you deserve. Your crush wants to reap all the benefits of a relationship without committing? Walk away immediately. Getting paid lesser that what you deserve? Raise the issue. You already recognize some of the issues, in your mind you’ve already said no, said it’s not fair. It’s time to start giving a voice to those concerns.

4. Respect

Respect yourself and others. You want to forgive yourself for the past mistakes. Don’t trash talk yourself. Only when you respect you can you expect people around you to respect you. People actually treat you the way they watch you treat yourself. And only when you respect you, will you be able to respect other people’s boundaries and feelings. 

5. Be Mindful

Recognize your feelings and thoughts that make you “you”. Cultivate habits that nourish you. Exercise your body and your mind. Journal. Go take a walk, read something, bring back your hobbies or learn something new. Go out in the rain, put your fingers in the soil take photos you like. Practice self-care. Express gratitude. 

Remember that you are greater than your up’s and down’s. The achievements and failures are only external stimuli to your thoughts and feelings, they don’t decide your feeling. They contribute to a feeling that you create from your mind. If you cultivate a strong sense of your essence, no external factor can control you because you are able to identify that it does not define you. You don’t have to live your life compromising parts of you in order to please others. You are your own person, your opinion, thoughts, beliefs are worth the investment of the resources this planet has to offer. You, are worth the investment.

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Writer: Saloni Bhatia
Idea: Personal Experiences 


Anonymous said...

That's a good one.... Being negatively affected by other's achievement is of no use..

Anonymous said...

After reading this. Reminds me to keep loving myself no matter what!!