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| Why We Do Not Stick To Our Goals? |
Goals are something that are very common to our daily life. Whether it is with regards to our personal or professional life, goals are something we all can relate to and at some point in time have associated our daily actions to achieve our goals. There is no doubt that each one of us wish to achieve our goals irrespective of the hurdles or challenges we come across while working on them, however the reality can be a whole lot different when it comes to putting it down on paper and working on them day by day.
No matter how good we are at making and achieving our goals, fulfilling and accomplishing them is a different ball game altogether. My hope in this blog post is to give ourselves an opportunity to reflect on the type of goals we are setting for ourselves whether or not we wish to continue with those goals or change a few things around. It is also critical that we understand better if the goals are right for us or not. If at any point of time, the feeling of not being able to stick to our goal’s creeps in, have a look at the reasons below. You may want to consider few of them.
Lacking Autonomy: Many times post setting the goals for ourselves, we feel that we are trying to do something that we do not wish to do. We feel like we should do it, kind of feeling of being forced into doing it without us wanting to do it in the first place. In such situations, motivation will obviously dwindle when we do not have that sense of autonomy. Autonomy is when we want to do things for ourselves. There is complete acceptance from our end and we are in agreement with our goals. The moment we lack autonomy, it is time to reconsider the goals we have put forth to ourselves or figure out a plan B to make things right for ourselves.
Goal Being Unrealistic: No one is perfect and it is this imperfection that at times leads us to make goals that are not suitable for us to achieve at the moment or even over a period of time. When a goal is unrealistic, we are trying to do a lot more or too often. The goal can get stressful or restrictive. E.g.: Cutting off sugar from our diet completely for the entire week. Obviously, we are doing a lot more of it which can result in chemical imbalances in our body that can later affect us. Such goals are more difficult and not very sustainable for daily life. Try to set goals that are smaller and more achievable and we also get the opportunity to enjoy the accomplishment of those goals. Also, when we are not able to achieve our goal it results in disappointment and demotivation. By ensuring our goals are realistic we can avoid such unnecessary circumstances in our life in advance.
All or Nothing Mentality: This one really gets to us. It makes us say "I messed up, might as well give up the goal entirely" or "I messed up, now I need to start all over again" This is either ALL or NOTHING mentality. This can lead us to a START & STOP vicious cycle which never ends. It is a very inconsistent behaviour. The key to get rid of this mentality is FLEXIBILITY. It is okay if we were not able to exercise today or we were not able to go to work for whatsoever reason. It is not going to end our goal. It may take a day more to achieve our goal, however it will in no way end the cycle and there is no need to do so. Goals get accomplished gradually and it is not a sudden start or stop cycle. So, get rid of this mentality and you will be okay.
Keep Yourself Checked: Remember those days when we felt ill and our mother or father were beside us all night making sure we are alright? They always kept a tab on us every now and then to make sure our fever does not rise at night and we are comfortable and cosy in our bed. The only reason why they would do that is because they loved us and wanted to make sure that we are alright during the night. Similarly, in life when we are so engrossed in our personal lives at times, we forget to check on ourselves. How are we feeling? What is working for us? What is not working for us? etc. The point is that if you keep a check on what you do every now and then it will only add value to the task you are doing ensuring the end goal is met without any struggles during the process. Further, the time taken to keep a check is far less than having to do the task all over again.
Prepare for Challenges / Obstacles: The most difficult days of my childhood were the days before the exams. The amount of stress I used to go through and had to be up during the night just because I did not prepare for my exams well in advance. Similar challenges are also faced by chefs in restaurants, who do not prepare their raw materials before the actual cooking begins for the guests. Here I would like to highlight one thing, it is not about the challenge that we need to focus on as much as how we approach it. Our approach decides whether the obstacle is easy to accomplish or rather demanding. Preparing for the worst always puts us ahead of our challenge and our competition thus resulting in a more successful outcome.
Considering Resources: Before tackling any task in hand it is critical to make a list of the tools, support system, external factors, materials and have them handy before the actual task begins. E.g. If we wish to build a wall today, we would not want to wait for today to come, then order the materials and hire the labour. Obviously, we will do it in advance and move things faster when the day arrives. Keeping the resources handy is the first and the most foremost step to be taken before starting with a goal, after all gloves have to be worn before the fight and not during it. So, get those gloves on and be ready to win your goal.
Our goal is Vague: When we decide to achieve any goal in hand, we must first understand the specifics and logistics that will be required in order to achieve the goal. Being specific gives us more clarity and being logistically reasonable gives us the foundation required to carry out the math. An architect cannot build a building without the blueprint and the necessary approvals from the county. Similarly, you have to be the architect of your goal. Give meaning to it and prepare for it like you want to achieve it. It may take days, weeks, months or even years to achieve your goal, it does not matter as long as the process is smooth and crystal clear.
Sticking to goals completely comes from within. Your goal is your responsibility and not anyone else. We can surely approach anyone to assist us in achieving our goals, however the final call resides in us. We as human beings often get distracted and demoralized when our goals are not met, however the drive to move ahead with all the distractions and the feelings within us is the key to success.
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